literature

Who are you?

Deviation Actions

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Literature Text

                                                          "A cat just died."


Optimist: " Cat's have nine lives! He'll be back by tomorrow."

Pessimist: " Oh poor kitty, its poor owner is going to be so sad; he won't have any friends anymore."

Realist: "The cat died... Lets bury it."

Sentimentalist: "The Cat just died! We should hold a funeral, and have flowers on its grave every day for a month and then once every month!"

Fatalist: "Okay, the cat died."

Opportunist: "We could trace the causes of death for research purposes."

Sadist: "Oooh! I can take the cat to my basement and do experiments on it! And make the kid who owned it witness my scientific adventures! Hahaha!"

Philonoist: "I must go and console the poor child whose cat just died."

Philanthropist: "The poor child, I feel so bad for him; I must do something to console him."

Hedonist: "I'll sue the kid whose cat died on my lawn and get lots of money for myself."

Perfectionist: "The funeral must have 12 people attending it with the light shining exactly on the grave."

Idealist: "A cat is said to have nine lives, therefore he is not gone forever."


                                                                    Additional:


Fantasist: "Maybe the cat will come back to life and give us all gold and bring good luck, then go spreading rainbows across the universe."  (Contributed by: taoMega20)

Pathologist: "Stupid cat probably ate a diseased mouse." (Contributed by: taoMega20) 

Nihilist: "The cat never existed anyway. Life is meaningless." (Contributed by: AfterTheNonSequitur )

Cynic: "Over 100 people die every minute, and I'm supposed to care about a cat?"  (Contributed by: AfterTheNonSequitur )

Crow: "*caw caw*"  (Contributed by: AfterTheNonSequitur )

Physicist: "If the cat's still in the box, it's also alive." (Contributed by:~ZwickyStarscream )

Astrophysicist: "As long as its in the four dimensions, it still exists." (Inspired by the Physist)

Logician: "Cats breed. Therefore further cats will be available. Therefore the condition of absence of a cat from the life of its owner need not be permanent."  (Contributed by: *AntediluvianWhovian )

Thiest: "The cat died, it must have been the work of god!" (Contributed by: ~MadManInTheBox )

Darwinist: "The cat died, it must have had a poor physiological mutation." (Contributed by: ~MadManInTheBox )

Hillbillyist: "Supper!" (Contributed by: ~MadManInTheBox )

Humanist: Studying this cat's life from its beginning to its now unfortunate end, we can surely learn something about ourselves. (Contributed by: ~Daniel-Gleebits )

Existentialist: In order to learn anything about this cat, one must live as if they were the cat. The cat being dead, this becomes a little bit tricky. (Contributed by: ~Daniel-Gleebits )

Marxist: Yet another victim in the inevitable battle for the common people to control the means of production. (Contributed by: ~Daniel-Gleebits )

Rat: *Squeak!* (Translation: "All according to plan. Initiate phase 2") (Contributed by: ~Daniel-Gleebits )


Oblivious Person: "What's that smell, oh well doesn't really matter!" (Idea by:~taoMega20 )

Schadenfreude: "Welp. Cat's dead. Oh well, let's party! We have cake!" (half contribution by: hyperhippy92 )

Ignorist: "I'm thirsty" (Contributed by: ~Temple-Amarok )

Health department: "Hurry up and bury the dead cat, before we cite you for a health hazard." (Contributed by: ~Mindslave24-7)

Quantum Physicist: "Schrodinger! Stop messing around with our cat again!"  (Contributed by: ~Mindslave24-7)

Deviant Artist: "The cat died, lets do something original with it!"(Contributed by:~Kimura-0 )

Communist: "Let's give everybody a new cat!" (Contributed by:TechnicolorIllusion )

Individualist: "I was more of a dog person anyway..." (Contributed by: peanut-butter-fly )

Novelist: "I just found out the inspiration for my new book!(Idea by: ~for-the-dark-lady) 

 Aspie: "A cat just died? Whose cat was it? Was it a boy or a girl? Did you know that people say that cats have nine lives? Will it die another eight times? What did it die of? What colour was its fur? I like cats. I don't like dogs. They lick me and I don't like the way it feels. Have you got a dog? I haven't got any pets. I don't really like being touched. I think I saw your cat once. It was chasing something. It wasn't dead. I have to go now. I don't really talk to people much. I get told I should talk to people more. Not strangers though. Strangers can be dangerous. Do you think you can still get to know people if you never talk to strangers? I'm sorry about your cat. Bye." (Contributed by: *AntediluvianWhovian)

Einstein: "Don't cry, it's all deterministic 'cause God doesn't play dice."(Contributed by: RafatParwez)

Necrophiliac: "She's so hot." (Contributed by: RafatParwez)

Archaeologist: "I know it's ancestors" (Contributed by: RafatParwez)

Ronald Weasley: "Good for Scabbers" (Contributed by: RafatParwez)

Schrodinger: "He who opened the box is responsible for the death of the cat." (Contributed by: RafatParwez)

Necromancer: "I'll make sure it's back tomorrow..." (Contributed by: Harold-F-Davidson )

Erinnist: "It will lead a happy life in starclan." (Contributed by: alshakuru)

Surrealist: "Even though the cat died, he can still build the underground cotton-candy airplane factory I've been looking for. Ope! Missed my leprechaun!" (Contributed by: placeusernamehere )

SHAKESPEAREAN: (Contributed by: Rainiette )

"O, my most unfortunate cat hath departed
Now that he is gone, where would I be?
Mayhaps heaven hath saved a place
O, how I do remember
I shall never love as I have loved him
Fare thee well, my tightest friend
In your travels to heaven, may by fate we meet again someday"


DISCLAIMER: NO CATS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS PIECE

*THIS IS BY NO MEANS MEANT TO ACTUALLY DESCRIBE THESE PERSPECTIVE, THEY ARE SIMPLY OPINIONS OF THOSE PERSPECTIVES*
 P.S: This piece is not intended to offend anyone, its simply something I found interesting and wanted to share with others :)

Everyone one has his/her own perspective to life, what's yours?


I was having a conversation with my cousin on the popular "Seeing a glass half empty/Seeing a glass half full" personalities, and then to describe what a fatalist is, I used the analogy of a cat. So afterwards I just thought about writing it in the perspective of some other personality types. I know I missed quite a bit of them, so I guess I would really appreciate it anyone helps me complete the list.(Most of the "Additional have been contributed wholly or in part by others.)
P.S.:
A request from a friend of mine, if possible please check out "Alpha Wars" [link] by ~taoMega20
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